In Another World
by Zayz
Summary: Tony and Ziva stumble upon Deep Six fan fiction of the Tommy/Lisa, MacGregor/Amy and Tibbs/Tommy kind. T for themes.


A/N: As a fan fiction writer, sometimes the thought strikes me – what would Tony and Ziva say if they knew people were writing fan fiction about them and their lives? Would they be amused, or outraged, or revolted? Admittedly, it's a pretty funny image no matter how you slice it – so I decided to do this silly, parody-ish little fic in which Tony finds Deep Six fan fiction online.

_ALSO: As I remember it, in Tim's book, Tommy and Lisa were actually in a fully-fledged relationship. But for the moment, we are going to pretend that Tommy and Lisa are in the same will-they-won't-they scenario that Tony and Ziva are in because it's just more fun that way._

There's no real timeline for this; it's just kind of in its own little universe. Hope you guys like it. Please remember to review at the end when you are done reading!

* * *

**In Another World  
By: Zayz**

* * *

The sign takes Tony completely by surprise. It is one of those perfect autumn days, with vibrant red leaves and sunshine and summery warmth, and he had been walking innocently towards the coffee shop near work for a caffeine fix.

On the way to the coffee shop, though, is a bookstore, and in its window is the sign that so vividly captures his attention:

_Thom E. Gemcity, Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller Deep Six, Returns with Deep Six: The Continuing Adventures of L. J. Tibbs. Coming Soon!_

Accompanying the announcement is a large picture of the cover for the new Deep Six novel.

Tony hesitates for just a moment, and then snorts, an amused grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. So McGee finished that sequel after all – and now the world is going to read about it. Tony will have to buy a copy himself, just to see what his alter-ego, Agent Tommy, is doing now. It really is ridiculous that McGee has made so much money off of him; he should be entitled to some of the royalties for offering so much direct inspiration.

Either way, though, the day is too pretty and the start of the work day is approaching too soon, so there isn't time to dwell on the poster. Tony gets his coffee and makes his way down to the NCIS building, wondering vaguely what fresh act of human destruction he will have to deal with today.

* * *

By afternoon, the case is going slow. McGee is up in MTAC with the boss and Director Vance, talking to the CO of their dead Marine via satellite communication, and Tony and Ziva are supposed to be following up leads, but so far there aren't many. Ziva is busy doing background checks, partially attentive and partially contemplating what to eat for dinner later; Tony is supposed to be scheduling interviews with people who knew the victim.

However, after scheduling two for the following day, there is nothing more to do – so he leans back in his chair, puts his feet up, and expertly angles himself to be able to reach his mouse and surf the Internet. Ziva eyes him in irritation, but says nothing.

After a quick browse of ZNN headlines and today's trending YouTube videos, Tony remembers the sign he saw for McGee's book this morning. Coming soon. He wonders when exactly it's coming, and on an impulse searches the title on Google. The usual thousands of articles come up – as well as a few pictures of McGee and his sheepish author smile – and Tony idly scrolls through the first page of results.

Something catches his eye halfway down the page, though – a link to "Deep Six Fan Fiction." Arching an eyebrow, he clicks on it, intrigued.

The link takes him to a website, which has a large cheerful banner at the top of the page with "Deep Six Fan Fiction" in a curly font. Beneath the banner is a long list of blue links – titles. Of stories.

Intrigued, Tony clicks on the first link. It takes him to a story called, "A Secret Love" by someone named Tisaluvr211. The page loads; the story isn't long, just a few scrolls of the mouse. There is a bolded note from the author before the story starts: **Hey, everyone! Just some cute Tisa smut for your enjoyment, as we prepare for the Deep Six sequel in which (hopefully!) something happens between our two favorite special agents. Please review at the end!** He vaguely wonders what a 'Tisa' is but decides to ignore the terminology and continue with the story nonetheless.

_The night was the kind of dark and lonely that got Agent Tommy thinking about more than hot girls in bikinis. It was late – Agent Tibbs had insisted more work needed to be done – and Agent Macgregor had escaped to Amy Sutton's lab for a few hours, to help her with evidence. Tommy and Lisa were left alone in the office, fighting sleep._

_Lisa looked tired, but somehow beautiful in the artificial office lights. Her chocolate orbs were focused on the computer screen, the task at hand, and her hair cascaded down past her shoulders, dark and curly. Her exotic scent seemed to fill up the entire office._

_She was his partner. She was all wrong for him. Plus, Tibbs had a rule about this – Rule 12, no inter-office dating. Besides, they were both damaged goods – how could they ever make each other happy? How could they ever get over their pain and give way to their love? It was an impossible situation._

_And yet, the Italian couldn't help how he felt about the Israeli. She was beautiful, and damaged no doubt, but she knew him better than anyone – better than he knew himself. He had been holding his feelings in for far too long. And this late, cold night seemed as good a time as any to confess his emotions._

_It was a good thing Tibbs and Macgregor were not around. Tommy cleared his throat and said, "Lisa? We need to talk."_

"_Really, Tommy?" She sounded tired, bored. "Does it really have to be now? I'm very busy and it's very late."_

"_I know. But it needs to be said."_

_Lisa looked up at Tommy – her partner, one of her best friends. It was as though a wall had gone down, revealed the tenderness behind his usual goofiness. She had to admit it to herself, despite her tiredness, she was curious to know what he had to say. She was always curious to know what he had to say. Often against her will, he captivated her._

"_What, Tommy?"_

_Tommy took a deep breath. "Lisa, I know this will be hard to take. But I have to be honest and tell you anyway because I can't fight the feeling anymore. I…I love you, Lisa. I always have. Ever since we first met."_

_At first, she was in shock. She couldn't believe he had just said that to her. But then, as she thought about it, it made sense. Somehow, she had always known. Because she had felt the same way herself, ever since the first electric moment they had met. She felt tears come to her eyes._

"_Oh, Tommy…I know how you feel. I feel the same way too. I was just too scared to tell you. I've just been hurt so much before, by everyone I've ever known, so I was afraid of opening myself up to you to have the same thing happen again."_

"_Lisa, I've been hurt by everyone I've ever known too," he said passionately. "But don't worry, I won't hurt you. I won't ever leave you. I promise."_

"_But, Tommy," said Lisa. "What about Rule 12? What about the team? What would Tibbs say?"_

"_It doesn't matter what Tibbs says," said Tommy valiantly. "I still love you anyway. He will accept it. It will all work out."_

"_I'm so glad you feel the same way," she said. "Because I have always felt we are two pods in the pea."_

"_It's peas in a pod, Lisa," corrected Tommy affectionately._

"_Right. Peas in a pod." She gave him a glowing smile._

_Fortunately, Tibbs and Macgregor walked in at this moment and Tibbs dismissed them to go home. For the probie's sake, Tommy and Lisa pretended nothing had changed, and the three of them left the office together. But once Tibbs and Macgregor were out of earshot, Tommy asked Lisa, "Do you want to come over and watch a movie with me?"_

"_I would love to," she responded._

_The two of them drove to Tommy's apartment, where Tommy put in a movie. But as he put in the disc and prepared to press play, Lisa came up behind him in her ninja way, and said in a husky tone, "We can watch later."_

_He turned around, surprised. "What do you mean?"_

"_There's only one thing I'm interested in right now," she told him._

_Grinning with understanding, Tommy nodded. "Okay."_

_He took her hand and led her to his bedroom. It was quiet, the air still. He leaned in and kissed Lisa for the first time. It was ecstasy; the feel of her lips on his was almost too much to handle. The kiss grew more passionate as she fell back on the bed and pulled him on top of her. His hands knotted in her hair; her hands began fumbling for the zipper of his jeans. Already, she could feel his arousal, and it spurred her on to greater heights, as he wriggled out of his pants and her hand went to his—_

At this point, Tony has to stop reading. His easy blush and gag reflex are kicking in; he needs a deep breath and a few seconds away from the screen to recover.

So now he at least has a shrewd idea of what 'Tisa' was – he assumes it's a conglomeration of his alter-ego's name, Tommy, and Ziva's alter-ego's name, Lisa, a la Brangelina and TomKat.

Tisa. He shudders involuntarily at the thought.

Clicking back to the long list of story titles, Tony picks another one at random, curiosity growing. This one is called, "First Time" by specialagenttommy. This one also starts with a bolded note from the author: **Hey, guys, sorry for being gone so long! This story is AU. It follows the agents through high school. The pairings are Tisa and McAmy. Enjoy!**

High school. Seriously? Tony blinks twice, then begins scanning the page. Details jump out at him: Lisa, a new student at the school, a loner, a misfit; Tommy, the most popular guy around, taking an interest in her; Macgregor, the nerd, who befriends Lisa and hates Tommy; Amy, the other nerd, who thinks Lisa is weird.

After finishing the first chapter, Tony finds that the story goes on for another six. Intrigued, he clicks on, and keeps reading, occasionally snickering under his breath, other times cringing. He gets through two and a half chapters before giving up and going back to the main page to pick another story.

By this point, Ziva has noticed something's up on the other side of the bull-pen. When Tony snorts particularly loudly, she looks up and says, "What are you doing, Tony?"

"You have to see it to believe it," he says. "Come here, Ziva. Let me show you something."

She narrows her eyes suspiciously.

"I promise, it's not rated R," says Tony. "You have to see this."

Sighing, Ziva decides to humor him and joins him at his desk, leaning over his shoulder to look at his computer screen.

"Agent David, welcome to the wonderful world of…fan fiction," says Tony, grinning.

"What is fan fiction?"

"See, when people watch movies or read books, they sometimes like to fill in the blanks with their own stories," he says. "They write their own versions of how things should have, or could have, happened."

"Okay…so what fan fiction is this?"

"You remember McGee's book, Deep Six? The one about us?" says Tony.

"Yes…"

"Well, people have been writing fan fiction for Deep Six."

Ziva's eyes widen. "You mean…about us?"

"Heck yeah about us!" Tony clicks back to the main page and finds the first one he'd looked at, "A Secret Love." "Check this one out. This is about us."

Ziva wrinkles her nose. "What is a Tisa?"

"It's us. Tommy and Lisa. Tisa. Get it?"

She sighs. "People have too much time on their hands."

Tony lets go of the mouse and Ziva begins scrolling through the story. Her expression begins passive, inscrutable, but becomes more and more horrified as she continues. She reads past the point where Tony gave up, so the two of them finish it together in bewildered silence.

After finishing it, she is actually speechless for several seconds.

"Well…apparently we no longer need to rent DVDs to access porn," she says with some distaste. "Are there others?"

"Are there ever!" Smirking, Tony pulls up the main page once more. "Which one do you want to read next?"

Ziva scans the list, her nose still wrinkled with distaste. "I don't think I can stomach another graphic sex scene."

"There's a lot of M-rated stuff in here," remarks Tony. "Apparently, people really want us to have sex."

Ziva rolls her eyes. "They do not even know us. They want Agent Tommy and Officer Lisa to have sex."

"But we _are_ Agent Tommy and Officer Lisa," Tony reminds her. "So, really, they want us to be having sex."

"It is disgusting." She points at the screen. "Here. This one. 'Joy.' Seems innocent enough."

Tony clicks the link and the two of them begin to read.

_The storm was terrible outside. The rain was cold and coming down hard, making the streets slippery. Tommy drove as fast as he could, but he could hardly see, even with the windshield wipers going. Still, he didn't care. He had to get to the hospital as fast as he could. He had left work as soon as he'd gotten the call. It was happening tonight._

_He finally got to the hospital fifteen minutes later. He ran inside and demanded to be taken into his wife's room. A nurse told him that he was just in time. He rushed in, and there was Lisa, lying on the bed, pink in the face, screaming bloody murder._

"_Tommy, you're here," she shouted. "Thank goodness."_

"_I could never miss the birth of our child, Lisa," said Tommy, rushing forward and giving her a kiss. "I'm here now. Hang in there."_

"_This is horrible! Give me guns and assassins any day! Giving birth is much harder!" she yelled._

"_It's okay, sweetcheeks, we'll have them give you an epidural," said Tommy._

"_I will kill everyone with a single paperclip!" screamed Lisa._

"_No, no, that won't be necessary," said Tommy. "Shhh, hang in there. Squeeze my hand as hard as it hurts."_

_He probably shouldn't have said that. From the feeling in his hand, he was sure he'd broken at least a couple of bones._

"_Nurse!" yelled Tommy. "I think we're going to need some morphine or something in here!"_

_The nurses came in a minute later and gave Lisa the epidural. She got better after that, her breathing was calmer, but she was still squeezing Tommy's hand like it was her life source._

"_Hang in there, Lisa, you're almost all the way there, the baby will be here in the next few minutes!" said the nurse._

_Lisa started moaning in agony. Tommy stroked her hair with his free hand and tried his best to keep her calm. But when the contractions started, all bets were off._

"Tony, this is ridiculous," complains Ziva. "I don't know what McGee said about me in his book, but I can guarantee I would not be so awful during childbirth. I would not be threatening to kill people with paperclips, for goodness sake!"

"How do you know? Maybe you would. I can see that," says Tony with a smirk.

She glares at him, but continues reading.

_The nurses kept telling Lisa she was almost there, she was almost there. Tommy hoped they were, because he was starting to lose feeling in his hand. Lisa's screams filled the room. But then, after what felt like hours, the nurse finally said, "I see the baby's head! One more push and the baby's out!"_

_Lisa gave one last almighty scream and new screams joined in with her. It was their baby – a small, wrinkly, purple creature screaming almost as loud as its mother. Lisa dropped Tommy's hand; she was shaking. The doctors cleaned the baby off and swaddled it in a blanket._

"_Is it a boy or a girl?" asked Tommy hoarsely._

"_Congratulations, Tommy and Lisa, you are the new parents of a baby girl," beamed the nurse. "Here, would you like to hold her?"_

_Lisa nodded deliriously and reached her arms out for the baby. The nurse gave her the baby, and Lisa held it wondrously. Through her haze of pain, she was astounded by this tiny baby – their baby – and how small, how beautiful she was. Tommy, too, was astounded. They had made a miracle. He was a father now._

"_What should we name her?" Tommy asked Lisa._

"_I think we should name her…" Lisa thought about it for a minute. "I think we should name her Kelly."_

_Tommy's eyes filled with tears. "Yes. That would be perfect."_

_The nurse took baby Kelly away for a little while and left the happy couple to have a moment together. Lisa's eyes filled with tears too, and she scooted over on the bed to make room for Tommy. He climbed in with her and held her against him, his face in her hair._

_For a little while, they just lay there together. It was pure joy._

Upon finishing, both Tony and Ziva take a deep breath, trying to process what they have just read.

Ziva speaks first. "So…we named our daughter Kelly."

"I am going to murder McGee," says Tony.

"He isn't the one who wrote this…fan fiction."

"Yeah, but he wrote the book that spawned all the fan fiction," says Tony. "I mean, look at all of this! We just got married and had a baby, Ziva!"

"We are not married and we are not having babies, Tony," says Ziva with a smirk. "It is only a story."

Tony shudders. "Still. It shouldn't be allowed. It shouldn't exist. The image is too weird."

Ziva commandeers the mouse and scrolls through the main page again with interest. "What else is there on this website?"

"I don't know," says Tony. "I almost don't want to know."

"What is slash?"

"Hmm?"

"Slash. Here." Ziva points at the screen. "This is…Tibbs/Tommy slash."

"Dear God, Ziva, that means they want me and Gibbs together!" yelps Tony. "Slash means gay!"

Ziva can't help it; she bursts into giggles. "Seriously? You and Gibbs?"

"Tommy and Tibbs." Tony buries his face in his hands. "Why? _Why_?"

"I want to see it!" She clicks the link and Tony can only howl like a wounded animal.

"I can't. I can't," he groans.

"But I can," says Ziva with a mischievous grin.

"No." Tony squeezes his eyes shut.

"Oh, but Tony, this is bordering on classic literature," says Ziva. "Here: _It was a warm summer night. The case had gone late, and all Tommy wanted to do was go back to his apartment, and sink into a nice hot bubble bath._"

"And the boss follows me home?" asks Tony, cringing.

"Yes," says Ziva. "Agent Tibbs is feeling lonely, with his empty house and his collection of wooden creations in the basement. He craves some human warmth."

"This is just cruel."

"_Agent Tibbs had no ulterior motives that night, when he knocked on his senior field agent's door. But when Tommy arrived at the door, clad only in a towel, the soap and water glistening in the moonlight on his hair and his muscled physique, stirred in him feelings he had never before experienced…_"

"Ziva. Stop. Please."

"'_Did you need something, boss?' asked Tommy. His innocence, combined with the way his towel slipped just slightly at his hip, drew a lump in Tibbs's throat. 'Yes,' said Agent Tibbs. 'Do you mind if I come inside?'"_

"Ziva. I'm begging you."

"_So he came inside—"_

"This cannot be happening." Tony wrenches the mouse from Ziva's hands and returns to the list of fan fiction. His cheeks have gone red and warm, his jaw is tight, and Ziva can only laugh.

"Tony, it is all in good fun," she says.

"Not to these people," says Tony mutinously. "Someone took the time to write that and post it to the Internet!"

"Yes, but out of this list, it's the only Tibbs and Tommy one," points out Ziva. "Most of them are Tisa or…what is this, McAmy?"

"Probably McGee and Abby," says Tony. "Well, at least they got that one partially right. McGee and Abby did date for a little while a few years ago."

"They did?" Ziva arches her eyebrow in shock.

"Yeah. Just for a little while. It was before your time," he says. "It was when McGee first started with this team."

"Interesting." Ziva considers. "I suppose they are the most likely couple out of all of these."

"Yeah, probably," says Tony. "Which is why there's more fan fiction about us than them."

"Because we are less likely?"

"Right. So it's more interesting to write stories for us."

Ziva takes a seat beside Tony on the corner of his desk, mulling this one over. "Why do you think that is?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you think people want our characters to get together?"

"Beats me," says Tony. "Only crazy people read McGee's book."

"We've read McGee's book."

"Only because we're in it."

"True."

"People need better hobbies, Ziva," says Tony. "This is creepy. Even in the book, we are a team and Gibbs has a rule, and you just don't _do _that. The Tibbs and Tommy story has scarred me for life. People are weird."

"That explicit sex scene between Tommy and Lisa scarred me too."

"Yeah, but come on, Ziva. _Gibbs_."

She laughs. "All right. That is far worse than you and me."

Tony shudders again; his cheeks go even redder.

"We should probably get back to work, Tony," says Ziva. "Gibbs will be back any minute."

"Like work is even possible now. Is there some way we can turn back time and pretend I never found this website?"

"Not that I know of," she says with a smile.

Tony shakes his head. "I need a coffee break. You want anything?"

"No thank you."

"I'll be right back."

He disappears down the hall, leaving Ziva alone in the bull-pen. Evidently, Gibbs and McGee are not done in MTAC, and Abby still doesn't have anything. Ziva is supposed to be doing background checks, but there isn't much left to process there; she is ready for whenever Gibbs comes storming downstairs, demanding details.

Tony won't be back for several minutes, she figures, so she settles into his chair and returns to the fan fiction website. She relocates the Tibbs/Tommy story that had so horrified Tony – _Warmth, by tibbsandtommysittinginatree_ – and spends the next several minutes shaking with revolted laughter.

* * *

A/N: So there you have it. I told you, it's silly, but I'm in the mood for silly. I wanted to do more with the Tisa fan fiction – maybe throw in some Tiva for you guys – but my muse thought Tibbs/Tommy thing was absolutely hilarious, and the Ziva in my head was far more interested in/creeped out by that craziness rather than the Tisa stuff. So, I'm sorry I couldn't throw in more romantic Tiva-ness for you. My muse simply wouldn't agree.

Also: fandom, please don't be insulted by this! I love you guys. I just think you can be terribly amusing at times. So I had to poke a bit of fun at you. But I love you like crazy. Please never stop writing. This was all meant to be taken lightly.

This is definitely the weirdest thing I've written to date. Please review and let me know how you liked it!


End file.
